can't take yourself too seriously.

So today I made my banana bread-flavored instant oatmeal with chocolate soy milk instead of water, which is about as adventurous as I get with cooking. Anyway, it was pretty good. 

The following is a conversation I just had with my roommate.

Roommate: Can you imagine being a hoarder??

Me: Well, I’m sometimes convinced I am a hoarder. So… yes, yes I can.

A few months ago, I won tickets to an advanced screening of Hunger Games via tumblr. I went to tumblr headquarters (which is right near where I work, actually!) to pick those tickets up. While there, I asked about gettin some “tumblr swag”. They said they unfortunately didn’t have anything in stock.

I forgot all about it.

Well, these just showed up in the mail and I couldn’t be happier. 

Me: People only use Facebook to show everyone what a good time they’re having.

Alex: The whole reason people even USE the internet is to validate their lives! …. Yeah, I post pictures of myself having fun on Facebook… because then people will think I’m having a good time! If there isn’t photo evidence, it didn’t happen.

21 years old today.

Growing up, birthdays were always a source of stress. After the leftover ice cream cake was tucked away in the freezer, and the rambunctious friends picked up by their respective parents, I would write furiously in my journal and berate myself for the goals I’d failed to accomplish the past year. I would make a new list of goals, determined to accomplish every single one by the time my next birthday rolled around. After all, I was getting old! If you don’t have anything to show for yourself by the time you reach High School, well, what was the point in even living?? Perhaps 15-year-old me expected too much of myself.

As I aged and changed, so did my goals. They became even more unattainable. Get an agent by the time I graduated. Learn a new language. Finish a novel- and get it published. Practice the guitar every day.

It took me many years of bittersweet birthdays to realize I was going about this all wrong. Maybe my goals were admirable. Maybe they would some day be accomplished. But the journey towards achieving these goals is sometimes much more exciting. In my mind, by the time I was 21, I had a solid acting career going, was a leader in my community and was a successful writer. But… that’s not what has happened. And I’m finally okay with that. I’ve started to appreciate the unexpected opportunities that throw a monkey wrench in my carefully laid plans. (Getting a job at Key of Awesome comes to mind! Having the chance to travel all over comes to mind, too.)

On the other hand, some of the goals I’d worked so hard for I DID achieve. And you know what? Those achievements didn’t necessarily make me happy. They didn’t hold the key for contentment, they didn’t make me a better person, and they didn’t make my life instantly better.

So, where am I at right now? Well, for one, I ripped up those goal charts I made when I was younger. They were cramping my style. Instead, I have a few, small, attainable goals that are liable to change at any moment. They’re more like guidelines. One thing I like about having goals is they keep you moving forward. The key is flexibility. Allow for the surprises life throws your way, and learn to adapt!

So, Happy Birthday, self. You’ve survived, you’ve grown, and you’ve learned a few things along the way. And you’re doing just fine. 

Now you may kiss the bride. 

My dear friend Gina gave me a LOTR Pez collection and, well, it’s the best birthday present ever. 

Barnes and Noble, I think you’re drunk.